Forgiveness

For me, it takes a LOT to get me upset and to really not like you.
I have learned a lot this past year.
As I reflect on 2013, I think about some relationships that I have had.
I realized that I may have outgrown some people for a reason.
The reason can sometimes be unknown, but it was for a reason.
Rather it be a good one or a bad one, they are no longer apart of my everyday life.

And thats cool.

I do believe that God wants us to forgive people because he loves us all no matter what we do.
I forgive people and I let things go, but I don't forget.
Then I think about it, does God still forgives us and remember what we did in the past or does it even matter?

Well, going into 2014, I want to be able to forgive and let go. Forget, Idk lmao but maybe I should.
One particular friendship that I had was tarnished due to jealousy and just being stupid with words and I feel like it sucks that their true colors came out.

I think for me, I forgave them and I have let it go but I just don't like what happened.
I guess it still bothers me that the person turned out to be someone that I didn't know.

But its okay to be hurt right? Is there a specific time when you should be over the hurt?

Idk. I am sure still going to pray on it and reflect.

I'm happy it happened though because I am starting to see who actually cares about me and are interested in my well being. 
I hate when people try to take advantage of you and just treat you like crap.

So, in conclusion to the New Year, I will forgive people. 
I will never stop but I will let go of pettiness.
I am not a fake person, so when I ask about your well being, I'm being genuine.
I wont stop being genuine and just be me.
Either you are going to like me or not, either way, it is what it is.

So Happy New Year, a year of fun, laughter, happy cries, and soo much to learn for the better years to come!

Faith

Its been a week.

No, maybe a year.

I have gone through so many ups and downs, its not even funny.
But one thing I do know is, that I pray all day, everyday.

My faith has grown from that little mustard seed into a gigantic watermelon.
I do believe that everything will be okay.
That everything that has happened thus far is for a good reason.

God makes no mistakes.

I trust him and I know that everything will be alrite, because it will be!

When you step out on your faith, you know that everything will get better in due time.
I just have to keep remembering that it is God's timing and not my timing.

But I wont stop at what I need to do. I have to help God by showing him what I want to accomplish or the things that I need so that he can make a way for me.

Or tell me, I want this for you because its better.

Down my lovely journey I go.

And oh I do have my days of frustration or just emptiness because I don't know what will happen.
But then I reach back out to my bff, and I know that everything will be alrite.

Because it is, it is always okay.

Even when I think its not going to happen, it happens.
He can do anything, and I believe that in due time, my blessings will grow into something bigger than I could ever imagine!

For now, I am where I need to be.
I don't need to explain that to anyone because God can say it better than me.

I need to continue to do what's best for me.

When the time comes, I will be at my next stop.

But for now, I am where I am and I'm happy knowing that something is in store for me.
I just have to remain patient and keep on holding on to my faith.

It's strong.
It's big.
And it will continue to live on.

I thank God for everything and all that I will see later on in my journey.

Paying Respect. Nelson Mandela.

The year is almost over and I feel like its been a year for REAL.
We have lost so many great people in the world for a reason. I strongly believe that God makes us great and he only takes the great people to eternal life.

Nelson Mandela, was a great man and his legacy will live on and on.
I will make sure my future children know who he was and what he did.

It saddens me sometimes when people think they know what they are talking about, and don't.
I spoke with a man the other day and he said Nelson Mandela was the President of Nigeria. I looked at him and was like, hmmm, I'm gonna need for you to know your history.

Bless his heart.

Here is a little information on this lovely man via History.com :

The South African activist and former president Nelson Mandela, helped bring an end to apartheid and has been a global advocate for human rights.

A member of the African National Congress party beginning in the 1940s, he was a leader of both peaceful protests and armed resistance against the white minority's oppressive regime in a racially divided South Africa.

His actions landed him in prison for nearly three decades and made him the face of the anti-apartheid movement both within his country and internationally.

Released in 1990, he participated in the eradication of apartheid and in 1994 became the first black president of South Africa, forming a multiethnic government to oversee the country's transition.

After retiring from politics in 1999, he remained a devoted champion for peace and social justice in his own nation and around the world until his death in 2013 at the age of 95.


Rest in Peace, Nelson Mandela, you deserve it for all that you did and we thank you for it.

If you're going to fight, fight for a cause, not for ignorance!

Thankful.

Thanksgiving is today and I have sooo much to be thankful for!

First and foremost, for God, blessing me everyday.
I may not be where I thought I would be in my career or just in life, but I am thankful to be somewhere!

Oh and to pay Sallie Mae cause she be on me lol

But most importantly for my family. Without family, what do you have?
I love all of my family and trust me, I have a LOT of family.
They are wonderful in so many ways.
I may not talk to everyone everyday, but when I do talk to them, its always special.

I cant forget my friends, who I love and cherish. The people that I can count on when I need them!

Sorors! My lovely sorority of Alpha Kappa Alpha ! I love my sisters, all millions of them lol they are sweet with pink and green. I am thankful to be apart of such an phenomenal organization.

So much, its just amazing.

We may not have everything that we ever wanted, but we have something that we can be thankful for.
It may be just a car or to be able to own your own home, but its something.

God has truly blessed me this year. Even though I had my downs, because I did, I am still thankful to be able to go through it. It has truly made me a better person and I see it everyday.

I am learning so much about myself and what I strive to continue to be. Each day, I want to be better, I don't want to go backwards, I want to keep going forward and being better.

Thank God for that! So, I am truly thankful this Thanksgiving, knowing that I am helping my family and they are helping me grow into the woman that God wants me to be. He lives through us and if we want to see it, we just need to ask. I am thankful to be able to see it everyday. Its getting better and will continue to get better.

Thank you for reading too! 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Working...What's Safer These Days?

As I sit and wonder what my next job will be...I think about how should I play it safe...should I work for a company or for myself?

A lot of people are in the 'entrepreneur world' and are doing a great job at it! Maintaining business and revenue but some are not.

Then I look at my corporate folks. Some are doing a great job at their job and actually like what they do while others hate what they do and only do it for survival reasons.

So, my question comes up again, what's safer these days?
Should we all just stop and work for ourselves or should we stay at our big fortune 500 jobs?

Think about it. If you work for corporate America right now, why?
Is it because of the benefits? The fact that your position gives you status in our oh so great society? Or do you like the perks, those Bulls tickets every now and then.

I mean really, why do we go to work everyday in corporate America when we could work our own hours and operate our own businesses? Is it because we need money to start it? Yeah, so we do need to work in corporate America to get the money, that's understandable, but then if we have it, do we just quit our jobs?

I don't know. I'm just thinking. I'm confused as to what is next in my life. What will I be doing in 5 years. Everyone seems to ask you that when you are interviewing for a position. Next time, when I'm asked that question, I will respond with, "I am going to be blessed and thankful for another 5 years".

That should really make a reaction.

No, but seriously, what's better to work on your own or to work for a company? I'm still trying to weigh the pros and the cons.

Either way you are at risk. You are at risk everyday if you have your own business because you may not get any more business and you are at risk everyday at your job because they could just set up a random lay off (like mine) or they may just shut down the company. 

Who knows.

Anyways, believing that everything will be okay is the first thing. I do believe that God knows what he's doing and I trust him with everything but I be like dang, can I get a hint? PLEASE!

Naw, but thinking about the whole working for yourself or working for a company can be interesting. Either way you could lose or you could win, it just matters if you have passion in what you want to do.

We need jobs. We need to survive and make it. Its just how we are going to do it that will make us better people. We cant settle for less, we have to pride ourselves with knowing that we deserve nothing but the best.

In conclusion, I guess we should really find out what we want do everyday that will make us feel like we are worth it until we retire. Whenever that will be.

Honey Made My Hair Beautiful

As a child, being African American, and having long beautiful yet thick and wavy hair, sometimes, my Mom didn't know what to do with it.

When she spoke to one of her friends about her hair and how it was so long and straight, her friend told her that her mother pressed it. Some of you are thinking, what is pressed hair? Well let me tell you that pressing your hair is done with a hot comb (you know the one Madame CJ Walker created?)

 and it's HOT!

I was always scared of the comb because if you jump of squirm around, it could burn you! So, I tried to sit still...as best as I could lol But the end result was worth it. My hair was so smooth and beautiful and I was in love with it!

                                                                   High School 2004

Being in the beauty shop was an experience for me.

I saw so many women get their hair done and I learned a lot spiritually.

My beautician was known as Honey, by many, I believe it was because of her sweetness towards everyone.

I remember when I used to come into her beauty shop and sit in her chair. She always had a great presence. She was always smiling and playing gospel music in the background. Her demeanor was beyond precious and I never heard her speak negatively. 

I loved the fact that she took the time with my hair, because I have a lot, but I also loved how she was always pleasant and kind.

When she was done with my hair, I would wait on my parents to pick me up and I would watch her closely. If she didn't have a client after me, she would go to her bible and read it.

As a child, I was involved in the church and knew what the bible was but I didn't read it like she did.

For me, watching her read it was inspiring. 

Ms. Honey made me see that as a Christian we have time for God no matter what time of the day it is, or how busy we are. We can take time out for prayer or even read a few verses of a scripture.

I really admired her strength with her views as a Christian woman and being a mother.

I really looked up to Ms. Honey, and after I turned 18 and went off to school, she did my hair before I left,one last time, and told me that she was so proud of me and that she wished me the best. I came back home to see her one day and it was a joyous occasion. Just to see her smile and to tell her how school was, I knew she was proud. 

I remember the last time ran into Ms. Honey, about a year ago.  I saw one of her daughters. She told me that Ms. Honey was in the store and I was too excited. I ran over to see her, and my eyes watered. I didn't like to see her in the state that she was in and she told me not to cry and said "it's okay".

My last memory of Ms. Honey was just like the first time.

On Facebook the other day one of Ms. Honey's daughters posted that she was in a better place.  I couldn't believe it. I was saddened. But, I am happy that she isn't suffering anymore. God is taking care of her better than anyone could.

I will be going to her homecoming this weekend, with sadness and joy in my heart because she lived a good life and she was a sweet, humble, and wonderful woman. 

I will always remember nothing but great memories of her and I know her spirit will live on.

Ms. Honey, thank you for doing my hair as a child until an adult.

You really inspired me to be better. We need more women like you and I thank you for your talent and your strong belief in God. I know he is taking good care of you.

You will be missed, not only by your family or friends, but by your hair pressing children.

We love you Honey, always and forever and I know you're styling angels and smiling down on us.

Another One?

Another young teen shot and dead.
Another young teen shot, dead, and black.
Another young teen, shot, dead, black, and now a female.

You get the picture right? What is really going on?
I am beyond over this.
This young lady was trying to ask for help and in result, she dies?
Why are people acting like this?
Yes, I will admit, when it is late at night and if someone is at my door, I will NOT answer unless I know that someone is coming. I need to protect myself.
But If I hear someone saying they need "HELP", I will let them know I will call 911 for them and reassure them that I will get the help that they need.

Racial profiling has turned out to be the biggest thing of the year I think so far, besides the killing sprees and that fact that everyone can have a gun now.
I think its horrible that more and more young African Americans (black) are getting gunned down because of nonsense!

If someone needs help, just call 911! Were we not taught to call 911 ? But then again if we call 911 the police officers are killing the people the are in need of help, so its like a win lose situation.

Either way, I just hope people wake up and realize that this madness is getting worse.
I pray for the world everyday, I know that my little prayer may not help a lot but its something that I do and to me it makes me feel better than I think about everyone no matter who they are.
We all need to figure out what we are going to do about this madness. Its so depressing to turn on the news and see that another young, black person has been gunned down, by racial profiling.

I pray for the family of Renisha McBride, and that they get the justice that they deserve.

Want Vs Need

We all want something.
We all need something.
But, is there a difference? YES

My wants are always trying to override on what I really need.
And it can get very crazy at times.
I want to find love, but I need to focus on me right now and be patient for that love life that I so desire.
I want to eat some cake, but I need to full get rid of this stomach fat.
I want to be happier, but I need to be grateful that I am content in my current situation and wait for the opportunity to be happier.

And of course the list goes on.

But we have to make sure that we really know what are wants are and what our needs are.
If we are able to distinguish the two, then we will be much better.
If not, its gonna be rough.

Focus

I woke up this morning blessed.
Blessed to see another day and to know that God has blessed me with soo many things in my life.
But sometimes I think we forget about what our focus should be.
Focusing on school or getting a new job.
Or even to lose that weight we have been trying to lose.
Or just even focusing on what matters the most.
I just dont want to lose focus again on what is important.
I honestly believe that when we put our focus on the important things in our life, that everything else will fall into place when we least expected.
I'm gonna be 4 yrs to 30 in a few months, and I know that any and everything can happen in a matter of time.
So until whatever happens that is suppose to happen, I'm going to put my focus on what makes me happy, what makes me smile, and what makes me feel good.
Forget the other stuff, I know my worth and I know that in due time, I will get what I really want.
For now, I am satisfied with what I have.